Childcare doesn’t end when the kids turn 12 or 13. It just evolves.
“You don’t put your 14-year-old in daycare, but your 14-year-old still needs to get to activities,” said Lisa, a Chicago parent of three schoolchildren. Combine increasingly unwalkable neighborhoods, smaller local family networks, and the relentless extracurricular demands of college admissions, and many American parents end up looking more like chauffeurs.19
“We have a whole system that is quite broken, I’d say. But in trying to work within it, having household help is quite necessary.”
Lisa is an artist and industrial designer specializing in jewelry and housewares, with customers that have included Tiffany & Co. and Walmart. Without childcare, she could not feel secure in
her career. Never mind that hers may be viewed as the family’s second income—she still needs to work.
“My husband … could lose his job. We could get divorced, I suppose. You just don’t know,” she said. And once you’ve left the job, “You can’t get back in.”
“Then people don’t trust you. You need to stay on top of it and stay in the game.”
To help manage the demands of parenting and work, the family has hired an au pair from France. The au pair can take the children to their activities and simply be there for the kids when Lisa is addressing a deadline or meeting remotely with international clients at all hours.
“Focused time is what you need to work effectively, and it’s very difficult when you have a million distractions and are required to go somewhere and come back. And this is a reality for many working families,” Lisa said. “Many women don’t work because there is not a schedule that is functional for them.”
“I know people who are, like, ‘I couldn’t manage the job and the kids’ scheduling.’ They’re working as their children’s personal assistants. Without pay.”
Au pairs typically arrive on a one- or two-year contract. Lisa’s family has hosted three previously, from Spain and France. Their current au pair is on a gap year before college. These young women—au pairs are overwhelmingly female—introduce children to new foods, new languages, and new perspectives.
To bring an au pair into their home, Lisa and her husband had to pay the agency $8,000 upfront for medical insurance, travel, and fees. Under agency guidelines, the au pair may work up to 45 hours per week.
While the cost is significant, Lisa noted that it is not as costly as a typical full-time babysitter or daycare. “The au pair, if you have the space, is the least expensive option. Especially if you have more than one kid,” she said.
Immigrant childcare workers make it possible for mothers like Lisa to stay in the workforce. Without affordable childcare, many women have to choose another path. “I’ve talked to women who miss work and would like to go back to work,” said Lisa. “But they can’t.”